Three Loves of Martha
by vertrauteaugen
Summary: To my friend Berta. Wrote her a story with three characters of Richard Armitage (John Standring, Dr. Alec Track and Harry Kennedy). Hope you like it. Martha and her friends Jane and Tracy are visiting Cornwall during her holidays and she hopes her friends won't use this trip for more blind dates. Martha has enough of lies about true love and gave up believing to ever
1. Chapter 1

_Three loves of Martha_

 _Dedication_

To Berta  
a friend with same interests.

 _Prologue_

Martha has never been searching for love. Until today it was finding her and when she least expect it love finds her more than once. Too many options to choose especially when you don't think you are worth it. Martha is running from love and sure when she turns around there will be no one chasing her. Until today – when running was impossible. Blocking the way one man but could it be? Has love finally found her?

 _Part 1_

 _Chapter 1 – All in your hands_

Martha hadn't been on holidays for awhile. It was a nice idea to go to with friends and take a trip through England. London had been nice and not much different from home. Today they finally reached the countryside of England and the sunny coast of Cornwall. Wind blowing in Martha's dark hair. She always thought she was too old for ponytails but today she has to. Jane borrows her one of her own and Martha's friends laugh like teenagers. "You look at least ten years younger"

"Yes, remind me I'm older than you two" Martha isn't much older than Jane and Tracy. Two years more of life and time alone. Jane's husband has friends Martha and Tracy are often asked to meet but both have still not found love. Tracy loves reading of true great lovers and Martha doesn't speak of how HE should be. Hoping Jane won't speak of it during holidays. All Martha wants is a nice hotel and some weeks without dates and busy work. After one week in London the three friends would spend two more weeks in Cornwall before a short trip to Scotland and back home to the United States. Tracy and Jane had plans what to see and where to go and Martha has the map to find the shortest way. She knows her friends wanted to go to England for many years now and booked the whole trip like they wanted it to be. It's still a surprise they didn't decide for a hotel but a small cottage. Of course Martha would be the one to be in charge of the kitchen. Her holidays are not as calm as she hoped but if it was just cooking and not cleaning the house as well she was fine with it. "Jane, the door is locked"

"Yes, we have to ask the neighbour" The neighbour is in the States the man or woman on the other side of the hallway but here it's a small farm. Tracy and Jane are not moving and it's Martha leaving her luggage with them to walk the small path to the next house.

Smell of sheep's and pigs leads her around the house. "Hello? Hello, my name is Martha. My friends and I are on holidays and live in your neighbour's house for two weeks"

The Sheppard looks up and Martha waves her hand a bit shy but friendly. At work she talked to a lot of people every day but apart from that not so much. Martha is unstoppable talking to friends but with others she keeps it short. Martha isn't impolite and doesn't walk away when the Sheppard came closer. "Yes... My name is John, I will show you the house"

John is a tall dark haired man and hasn't shaved in days. Not very attractive to any woman Martha doesn't have to worry what her friends will say. In the last two years she has been set up on more than fifty dates and blind dates and is annoyed of it. These holidays are for herself and for her friends. London wasn't a good start but Cornwall will be. Cornwall is quiet and beautiful and so is the small house John shows to them. Two rooms upstairs and one beside the kitchen. Tracy and Jane take the two rooms upstairs and John offers help to take their luggage upstairs but both her friends refuse. Martha feels sorry for John and asks him to help her. John smiles and he leaves soon after. A Sheppard has to look for his sheeps.

"That was a scary man. Have you seen how ugly he was?" Jane drinks her hot chocolate two hours after John left. Sitting with Tracy by the counter they both wait while Martha cooks dinner for the three of them. She doesn't like to judge people by first look and doesn't answer Jane. John didn't seem like a monster to her. He was nice.

"He has to shave and take a shower. What does he do? Sleep with pigs?" Jane doesn't stop talking but she changes subject. "We should forget him and go to a pub tonight. England must have some attractive men with manners and great accent. What do you think, Martha?"

"I like to stay and read some" Martha serves dinner and enjoys a moment with her friends. She doesn't want to ruin this with a fight but Martha needs some peace. Her friends agree to go out without her and leave Martha alone this evening.

She sits in the living room with a candle and music while reading a book. Wearing a comfortable sweater she enjoys a glass of wine and forgets everything else for a moment. Martha feels warm and safe until the light suddenly fades and music stops. Alone in a dark room she lights up more candles when the door opens and John asks if everything is okay. "Electricity is gone. Do you..."

"We have candles, thank you John" Martha can now see what scared Jane. In the dark John looks like a killer but he looks scared and killers are not scared. "Do you like to have some wine?"

"I... I don't drink alcohol" John stands in the door and doesn't move. Martha doesn't ask him why but is kind and gives him some juice. "Does this happen often?"

"Sometimes when we have heavy rain or... you are injured" John points to Martha's forehead. She shakes her head. "It's nothing. A little accident in London but nothing to worry about"

The lights turn back on and Martha sees John looks worried. He leaves quickly and Martha is alone again. Her book lays next to her while she touchs her forehead. She feels her scar and doesn't want to think about London. The memory still hurts and Martha wants to go on. She goes to her room to change to some fancy clothes and walks through town to find her friends. Being alone is not the best thing to forget something.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2 –_ _From Martha with love_

Martha didn't want to go to the pub. Jane and Tracy left alone. Laughing and walking hand in hand they are soon gone. Martha stays alone. She sits in the living room with a book. A glass of wine on the table and an old episode of Sherlock on tv.

Martha loves British series and watchs them as often as possible. Movies with gentlemen are her favourites. British men are beautiful but only on tv. Martha touchs her forehead. Her scar hurts. It happened in London. A car was driving too fast. Jumped out of the way and didn't see the bycycle. She fell and hit her head. The pain was not bad. A quick check at hospital and back to the hotel. This what she wanted.

A knock on the door and she looks up. Martha drops her book on the couch and walks to the door. When she opens it she sees John with a friendly smile. "Hey, I... it's me again... John"

"Yes, I know. I haven't forgotten. You are the neighbour. The farmer" Martha smiles and invites John in. John walks slow. He doesn't smile and looks around. No other is here. "I'm no farmer. I'm a sheppard... where is your friends?"

"They went to the pub and have a drink. Don't you go?" Martha goes to the kitchen and makes coffee and asks John if he wants a cup too. "You want a coffee?"

"No, I don't drink coffee. I... Why didn't you go? A night with your fiends... it's nice" John looks down and Martha shakes her head. She doesn't want to go. "No, I stay here. Have a coffee. Read my book..."

"And rest? Your... your head looks... bad" John points at her scar and looks up for a moment. Martha's scar is a few days old. It's not bleeding and she thinks she is the only one who cares if it still hurts. But John cares and takes a tissue with his initiales from his pocket. He holds it under water before he gives it to Martha. "You should cool it... here"

"Thanks John, that's very nice of you" Martha takes John's tissue and cools her scar for a moment before she wants to give his gift back. He shakes his head and looks down again. "Please... no... keep it, please"

"John, I can't keep it. It's yours" Martha notices John is sweet. He wants to do something good and she doesn't want to upset him. "Okay, I will keep it. Thank you, John"

John nods and looks at her with a wide grin on his face. "I... I will go. I... I'm living next door... if you need anything"

"I'm sure I will be okay. But if I'm scared I will call for your help" She jokes and laughs a bit when they walk back to the door. John leaves quickly and Martha knows he doesn't often talk to women. John is shy and like Jane and Tracy other woman maybe laugh about him. Martha never laughs about anyone but knows there is no future with John. Not only Martha's scar still hurt and she can't put John's tissue on her heart.

"Martha, right? I'm Dr. Track, I'm your doctor. I quickly take a look at your injury" The doctor is beautiful and Martha looks at him for long. He cleans her injury and is carefully. He doesn't hurt her and doesn't say anything. On his hands is no ring. Maybe he is not married and Jane is not here to make jokes about it.

It was long ago Martha has been in love with a man. She has spoken to some and was always friendly but she didn't love anyone. She has never met a man who was interesting so she couldn't forget about him. Everybody she meets wasn't interested in a relationship and without relationship no love.

Martha has this one rule but what should she do now? She doesn't know anyone in London and soon has to leave again. The first time she meets someone very beautiful and she would never talk to him? Martha doesn't feel well. Her heart is beating faster and Dr. Track looks worried. "Maybe you should stay for one night. Your injury is not bad but I want to be sure you're okay"

"Yes... thank you, doctor" Martha watchs him walk away. She has to call her friends. Tracy would be worried and Jane will buy chocolate for her like Martha always did if one of her friends was sick. But Martha asks them not to come and enjoy London today. They wants to see a lot of London. Martha will listen to it. They will tell her everything anyway.

"Is it bad?"

"It's a small injury but not bad"

"Why do you have to stay?"

"My doctor wants to be sure I'm okay"

"Okay, but call us if you need us"

"Yes, I will"

Martha hangs up and smiles. Her doctor is back and smiles too. "Your mother?"

"No, my friends. We are here for only one week and they are worried" Martha smiles more and watchs her doctor takes some notes. "What are you writing?"

"I write you stay here and what medicines the nurse should give to you. You will have no pain and your friends don't have to worry" He looks at her and his smile is amazing. It's friendly but doesn't make him look like a teenage girl. "Did you already see everything you wanted to see?"

"Not all but some of it" Martha, Jane and Tracy saw Westminster Abbey, Globe theatre, National Art Gallery and the Tower of London. Today Jane and Tracy will go and see London Eye and go to musical. They had cards to see Cats in a small theatre. Jane and Tracy won't be happy. They wanted to see Mamma Mia but Cats was Martha's only wish on this vacation.

"I saw it when I was younger" Martha likes cats and loved the musical when she saw it with her parents. It was years ago but she likes to think of it.

Martha's scar hurts again. She doesn't want to think of Alec Track and leaves the house. Maybe she finds her friends at the pub.


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3 –_ _Martha at the pub_

When Martha reachs the pub she sees no one. Her friends are inside and she follows them. Jane and Tracy sit and talk with two men. They don't see Martha before she comes closer and says hello.

"You changed your mind" Jane looks happy and asks one of the two men to buy a drink for Martha. He goes and comes back with a beer. Martha is friendly and accepts it. She doesn't drink beer. It tastes awful. Soda or coke are her favorites but he doesn't know.

"Yes, it's not nice being alone. Is John here too?" Martha's question is not very welcomed. John is not in the pub. Jane and Tracy don't like their neighbor and don't want to think of him. But Martha feels bad she forgot to ask him. "I go back and..."

"No"

"No, don't go. He is an idiot and we want fun" Jane grabs Martha's hand and starts dancing. Ed Sheeran is playing. Tracy watchs them before her friends come back. Everbody is watching them and it makes Martha nervous.

"I think I promised him..."

"You did?" Tracy looks confused and Jane asks for new drinks. The two men leave the friends alone to talk about John. He is not the man Jane wants for her friend. Maybe he is nice but not pretty. A holiday flirt should always be sexy. "You don't have to be nice all the time. I'm sure he knows you look for a lawyer, manager or a doctor"

"No, no doctor... they don't have time" Martha jokes and smiles. Her scar hurts thinking of Alec Track. Jane didn't know him and doesn't want to hurt her friend. Jane wants a good man for Martha to love her and spoil her. But Martha doesn't know what she wants and watchs the two men coming back with drinks.

The two men are not nice to Martha. They don't talk to her and she goes to the bar alone. She drinks a coke and waits to go home with her friends.

An hour later.

Martha wishs they finally go home. Her friends are talking, dancing and drinking with the two men. Martha often looks to them and thinks about what will happen tonight. She doesn't want to take anybody home. Tracy and Jane are not girls who have a lot of boyfriends. They don't flirt for a fun night. Maybe the two men want to and they get in trouble.

Martha decides not to drink alcohol and looks around if anybody will help them if they have to run from the two men. She is not sure if anybody will help but new hope walks through the door.

The pub owner welcomes John and gives him a beer. He takes a seat next to Martha and looks not so friendly now. Martha feels bad she didn't tell him she joins her friends. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you before I left. I didn't feel well and didn't want to be alone"

John doesn't say anything. He nods and drinks before he hears a voice behind him. Jane pushs a man away from her. "No, I don't kiss you. I have a boyfriend at home"

The man doesn't care and tries to kiss her. Before Martha reachs her friend John stands up and helps Jane. He talks to the man and grabs Jane. She quickly goes to Martha and Tracy follows. Together they leave the pub and run home.

Martha stays awake for long. She looks out of her window and waits for John to go home. She hopes he is okay but she falls asleep before she sees him again.


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4 –_ _Our hero John_

The next morning Martha goes to John before breakfast. She wants to thank him for his help and finds him drinking coffee watching his sheeps. "Good morning, John. Thank you for your help last night"

"It's okay" John doesn't look at her. One of his sheeps walks slowly and Martha worries for it. "Why is so slow? Is it injured? You don't have to kill it, or?"

"No, she is pregnant. She is exhausted and the others keeps her in the middle to protect her" John smiles and looks at Martha. "You don't have to thank me. And you don't have to apologize for not talking to me. You are... nicer than other women. Ed, the pub owner, told me what you and your friends said last night"

"My friends don't speak very nice of you. It makes me sad they treat you bad. You helped Jane and she should be here to thank you" Martha freezes and rubs her arms. John sees it and shakes his head. "It's okay. I know what they think and you should go back. It's cold this morning"

"Okay. Maybe I can come back later" She goes back to the house and finds her friends at the breakfast table. Jane and Tracy drink coffee and look happy this morning.

"Good morning, Martha. Where have you been?"

"Is John okay? Was he hurt?" Tracy asks about their neighbor and her friends takes a seat next to her. "He looks okay. I didn't see any injuries... but I think you should later go to him yourself"

Tracy nods and Jane drinks her coffee. Martha gets a cup for herself and doesn't want to talk to Jane. She is upset her friend still ignores John and maybe thinks bad of him. John is a nice man but Jane only sees his looks.

"What will we do today?" Tracy looks from Martha to Jane. Her friends don't talk much this morning. The last night was the same. Martha didn't stay with them very long. She sat at the bar on her own.

"How did you know they were trouble? The two men, how did you know?" Tracy looks at Martha and she looks surprised. "Oh, I... I don't know. I didn't like them. And I felt unimportant"

"You are not unimportant" Jane looks up and touchs Martha's hand. "You are our friend. These men were idiots but I'm sure you will find your love soon. But please not John"

"I'm not in love with John. But he is a better man than you think he is. He helped you last night. He... he was a hero" Martha still protects John and hoped Jane thinks the same. "I didn't flirt with the man. I talked to him and that's it"

"You let him buy your drinks" A bit angry Martha answers her friend and Jane rolls her eyes. "This means nothing. You know I love my boyfriend. I didn't flirt last night. It was talking and drinking but not more"

"They thought..."

"Please, don't argue"

"I'm sorry Tracy. You are right" Martha is the first to apologize and give in and Jane says sorry too. They don't want to argue on their holidays and Jane accepts to go to see John today. She will thank him and that's all Martha wants.

John deserves more nice people and for the next days Martha wants her friends to be good neighbors to John. Martha still believes he is a hero. A secret hero who doesn't want to be known for his good heart. And for a moment Martha thinks John was maybe hurt like she was.


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5 – Harry's Arrival_

The first half of the day is lazy. After breakfast and more coffee Jane and Tracy got ready to visit John. Martha doesn't want to spy on them and takes a walk in the small village.

A lovely church and a nice little garden with beautiful flowers. Martha likes it's quiet this morning. The pub is closed and from the center small streets lead to all directions. Pretty houses and maybe nice people inside. The morning is sunny and warm. Martha likes going for a walk. At home she is often too busy but here she has all time.

"Miss?" A man talks to her. Martha never saw him before but he looks like someone she saw before.

It hurts to think of Alec Track. This man looks like him. He is a bit taller and he smiles more. But Martha is shocked how much they look like each other. She can't say anything and keeps looking at the man who still smiles.

"Miss? I'm new in town and I'm looking for someone" He is friendly but all Martha sees is Alec.

"I'm sorry. I'm not from here. I'm on holidays" When she speaks again her eyes are still glued to the man. His smile gets wider and he laughs a bit. "It's a nice place for holidays. I came here when I was a child but that's many years ago. I still have family here and maybe we see each other in the village again. My name is Harry by the way, Harry Kennedy"

Martha shakes Harry's hand and is afraid. Could it be Harry and Alec are family? Will Dr. Track himself show up in the next days? This was a bad thought and she felt bad for Harry too. He was nice to her and she was distracted and impolite.

"I'm sorry. I hope you find who you are looking for" Martha lets go of Harry's hand and tries to forget Alec. She starts walking away but Harry shouts after her. "I don't know your name, Miss! But if you have time I would like to invite you to dinner tonight. What do you think?"

"Me? Oh..." Martha just met Harry and he wants to date her?

"I'm on holidays with my friends and I don't want to go on any dates, but I wish you a good time here and maybe you find another woman you can ask out" Martha quickly walks away. Suddenly Harry scares her. Why did he ask her on a date? He doesn't know her and this feels wrong.

Martha doesn't like dates and she didn't have many. The last one was with Alec and he was nice but now she better not want to think about him again. A nice man doesn't always have to be nice. Sometimes you can be wrong about a man and Martha was wrong.

This will not happen to her again. Around the corner she starts running and wants to get quickly home to her friends and close the door. Maybe she will tell John about Harry and make sure this man doesn't show up at her door. Otherwise Martha and her friends will need help and in this town they only know John.


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6 – A Date to remember_

When Martha came back to the house Jane and Tracy were not there. Maybe they are visiting John and talk to him about the other day. Martha hopes her friends are nice to John this time and while she is alone she locks the door.

Martha is still scared and can't forget Harry, the man who looks like Alec. She wants to forget London and all that happened. Martha doesn't want to remember how nice Alec has been and she feels ashamed for going out with this man. Doctor or not, he is a man like all the rest of them.

"Do you feel better today?" Martha wakes up and hears a voice of a man. When she opens her eyes she doesn't see any of her friends but Dr. Track sits next to her eating his breakfast. "I'm sorry. I didn't eat all day"

He looks funny eating his sandwich and check her papers. "You slept well last night and it doesn't look like you have a bad injury. The scar will be gone in a week or two. Will anyone pick you up?"

"I don't want to ruin my friends their holiday in London. I will take a taxi to our hotel. Does this mean I can go now?" Martha would like to go back to her friends and hopes her doctor will let her leave this hospital soon. No one truly likes hospitals but Martha knows how important the jobs inside every hospital are. Doctors, nurses and lifesavers like Dr. Alec Track.

"I don't like to let you go on your own. It's best you stay here for a few more hours and I'll take you to your hotel" Dr. Track leaves before Martha can answer him. She doesn't know why he acts this strangely but at the same time it feels good.

Some hours later

When Alec picks her up he looks tired. He changed his orange work outfit to a black leather jacket. His face looks a bit sick and Martha is worried. "Are you okay? You look like you need many days of sleep"

"If only this would be possible" He laughs and takes her to his car. They drive to the hotel and Martha wants to say goodbye. She offers her hand to thank him but Alec has something else in mind. "Are you hungry? I could take you to dinner"

"Are you always hungry? Yes, after the hospital food I could need a real dinner" It's easy to talk to Alec who drives them to a small restaurant. They eat pasta together and start talking about other things but Martha can't forget he is her doctor. A doctor shouldn't go out with a patient. When their patient leave they never see each other again but Alec doesn't try to leave.

"Do you take all women to restaurants?" It's not very nice to ask him but Martha has to know and is surprised by his answer. "I had a very bad day. Normally I don't take anyone to dinner. I don't even take my girlfriend out... but you were alone the last two days and I hoped we keep each other some company"

It truly hurt to hear him talk about his girlfriend. She maybe is waiting for him at home and Martha wants to leave too.

She didn't tell Jane or Tracy about the dinner. Martha didn't mention Alec Track and kept trying to forget him. He has a girlfriend and this hurt. But why does it hurt? Dr. Track is a nobody and they will never see each other again. It doesn't have to hurt.


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7 – John and his cousin_

The house turns loud when Jane and Tracy come back from visiting John. Both chat nicely and keep laughing about something. "This nose is massively attractive. I didn't know under this beard is such a good looking man"

"Martha will be surprised when she... hey Martha, how was your walk? Did you see anything nice" Tracy walks over to Martha and sits down next to her friend. "We went to John and thanked him. He was very nice and then... then his cousin arrived. His name is Harry. Jane spoke to him for long"

"Yes, he is very nice and handsome. I had no idea John could be a handsome man if he shaves and has a proper shower. His cousin is a great man and he is in town to visit John. He came around to say hello and we invited him for tomorrow. It's okay you cook for the five of us, is it? You are the best cook of us" Jane knows how much Martha loves to cook. She doesn't often have a large group to cook for but five persons is a good thing. Maybe a small salad, a meal and definitely a chocolate dessert.

"Harry and John will be here at eight" Jane goes back to the kitchen to make coffee and Martha repeats the names. Harry. Is this Harry Kennedy, the man she met earlier and who looks so much like Alec? This must be a mistake.

"Are you sure his name is Harry?" Martha hopes she is wrong but Tracy nods and smiles happily. "Yes, Harry is his name. Harry Kennedy, John's cousin. And he is very nice and asked us many questions. He even brought us home and was a real gentleman. Jane and I think you will like him"

"Yes, he is maybe a good match" Jane returns to her friends with coffee and a big smile on her face. Does she really think Martha wants another blind date? Yes, this time she has met Harry before but this doesn't change anything. Somehow she knows she prefers John's company a thousand times more than Harry's.

"You know I'm not here to have any dates. This is our holiday and no man separates us three. This was a promise and by the way it's not nice you think Harry is better for me than John only because Harry maybe looks good" Martha stands up and takes a cup of coffee. "I date none of them. Maybe I will never date any man. You two are my best friends. If I don't want to date someone you should understand me and not try it again and again. It starts making me angry"

"No, we don't want to make you angry. I'm sorry Martha. I only want you to be happy like I am" Jane hugs her friends and invites Tracy to join them. They hug each other for a moment before Jane nods heavily. "Okay, no more dates. I promise it. But does this mean we have to tell John and Harry you don't cook for them?"

"No, I love cooking. Let them come and we have a nice evening but don't think of more and don't try to me make sit next to Harry" Martha smiles and tries to joke. Hopefully it won't be a bad evening.


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter 8 – Dinner preparations_

Martha woke up very early to write a list of things to buy today. She has not much time to cook a dinner for five in one day but she has high hopes for it. Maybe she can even make her friends help with small jobs like wash salad but not decorate her special chocolate cake.

Martha loves decorating her cake. It's her own recipe and one of her favorites. It's too much to cook for herself but today everybody will love it. To make sure John and Harry are not allergic to anything on her list Martha leaves a message for her friends and goes to see their neighbor.

John is awake and feeds his sheeps. When he sees Martha he waves and comes closer. "Hey Martha, can I help you? Your friends say you cook dinner for us all"

"Yes, it's true. Jane is always fast forward with it but she is right, I love cooking. And I came to ask if you or Harry are allergic to anything" Martha rubs her hands. Today it's a bit colder than yesterday and John gives her his keys. "We are not allergic. Here. Take my keys and get everything you need"

"John, I can't" Martha doesn't want to take something that is not hers but John puts his keys in her hand. "Please. You have to buy something for dinner. You have troubles because of inviting us..."

"It's not a trouble to me" She takes the keys to make John feel better and drives to a near shop.

After two hours she has everything she needs and drives back to the little house. Jane and Tracy made coffee and a small breakfast before they help Martha and do everything she tells them to do.

At last they decorate the table and change into dresses before they open the door for Harry and John. "Welcome and come in"


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9 – Dinner with guests_

John and Harry arrive punctual. Harry brings a bottle of Pinot Noir and makes sure everybody has a glass. He speaks a toast to a nice evening and Martha sees John moves his glass away. She thinks it's strange but doesn't say anything.

When Martha serves the first course Harry talks about his work and a small village he lives in. A place called Dibley that can't be real. Harry speaks of his neighbors like they are Loony Toons characters. Not sure who is who Martha doesn't say anything about Owen, Frank and Hugo. Jane and Tracy laugh at the same time about Harry's funny stories and that's why John helps Martha to bring the empty dishes to the kitchen.

"He doesn't really live in this town with all these people, does he? He looks more like someone living in London with a rich wife and two dogs" Martha puts the dishes to the dishwasher and takes a look at her meat afterwards.

"He lived in London but he moved to Dibley. He wanted something quiet and he can be very shy" John doesn't look at Martha who shakes her head. "No, I'm sure you are the shy one of you two"

"That's because I'm even more shy than him. But I think since he met Gerry he's better. He goes out more and... my father said the men in our family starts living when love finds them" John smiles shyly and Martha thinks for a moment he looks cute looking like this. She wants to believe love creates better people but often love disappoints.

"I didn't know Harry is gay" She cuts a bit more garlic when they hear a knock on the door.

"No, no. Harry is not gay. Gerry is Geraldine... I open the door for you" John does like he says and invites someone in. He talks to someone and Martha takes a new plate. She enough for six people and thinks about inviting the new arrival. John brings him to the kitchen and smiles. "Martha this is Alec. I hope it's okay. My cousins came to help me with my hence. It's broken and... Martha? You look a bit sick"

Yes, she looks sick. Martha is in shock again. How can it be he is here? How can he be in her holiday house? Martha didn't want to see him again. She was wrong about Harry but this was truly Alec, the doctor Alec Track.


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10 – Alec, the other cousin_

Martha drops her dish and crawls on the floor afterwards. She feels her hand gets injured and John comes to her helping her stand up. "Let me do this. Alec will look after your hand. He is a doctor"

Martha wants to say she knows but she says nothing. Alec doesn't say something as well. Maybe he forgot her but Martha didn't. Her eyes are watching him while he washs her hand and makes sure she won't get any infection. Alec doesn't look at her. It's a strange feeling to see him again and don't say anything. Martha feels invisible but knows it's not true. Some time she has to say something and opens her mouth. "Thank you"

"It's nothing. You are not really injured. John wants to take special care, isn't it John?" Alec lets go of her hand and goes to the others. Martha rubs her hand not sure what to think of it.

"He maybe is right. I... I'm worried you... Are you okay?" John touchs Martha's shoulder and she looks at him. It's now she sees how all three look like the other. John's beard and cap is hiding some of his face but the nose is all the same. "Why do you all look like the same man?"

"Yes, we all look the same. Funny, isn't it? Our fathers and our grandfather had the same face. We can't deny we are family" John rubs the back of his head. Martha thinks he is the nicest of the three cousins and asks him to give his cousin Alec a plate to join them for dinner. "I stay here for a moment and... look after our dinner. It will be ready very soon"

John nods and leaves. Martha is alone for a moment and watchs out of the window. Sun is going down soon. It's a nice evening but not for her. Her scar and her heart hurts. She doesn't want to think of Alec and hopefully John's hence is soon repaired and his two cousins leave quickly.

"Martha, do you need any help?" Tracy comes to the kitchen and holds her friend's arm. "John's other cousin scares me. He looks so angry. Did you see him? John says he thought Alec arrives tomorrow"

Tracy is shaking a bit and Martha distracts both of them with cooking. Her dinner needs more garlic and an extra onion. This keeps vampires away and maybe unwanted guests and men she doesn't want to remember.


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11 – Nice evening or isn't it?_

Jane sits with the three men and laughs a lot. Martha and Tracy can hear her in the kitchen. "It's always easy for her. She is not shy and she is pretty. Do you think she will marry soon? I hope so"

"Yes, I hope it too. And I want to babysit her sweet girl. Jane is sometimes horrible but she has a good heart and I forgive her" Martha really loves her friends. They are friends since college and never had a bad conversation. They are honest but nice with each other and all problems are solved quickly.

Tracy is most shy and sometimes only listening while Jane and Martha talk about something. Martha thinks her friend would feel better tonight with less men. Alec is scaring them both but both have different reasons.

When Tracy and Martha bring dinner to dining room John stands up to help them. Martha sees Tracy smiling but she can't smile herself. What if Alec is watching? Martha doesn't want to risk it and sits next to John and Jane. They all stop talking to enjoy their meal and Jane nods a lot. She often does this when she likes something and today she likes Martha cooked for them.

Some years ago Jane asked Martha why she doesn't want to be a cook but she is happy with her job.

Martha tries not to look at Alec. She looks at her meal and eats slowly. She doesn't want to talk or be happy while he is near. It is not fair. She wants to be happy. She wants to be happy for herself. Alec has nothing to do with it and with more time this wouldn't be a problem. But now it is.

"Alec, what doctor are you? Dentist? Vet?" Jane finishs her meal second after Alec finished his and she immidiately starts talking again. "Do you think doctors are gods?"

"No, we are no gods. We help people. My team and I are a special emergency team" Alec doesn't look at Jane. Martha feels like he is watching her but she doesn't look. She is scared to watch him and goes to the kitchen when all dishes are empty. She knows this means they all enjoyed her cooking. She is proud when Alec changes this again. "Can I help you?"

"No, please go. I don't want to see you" Martha doesn't look at him. She knows it's Alec and doesn't feel good to be alone with him. "Tracy, can you help me?"

"I'm here. I can help you. - Tracy, it's okay" Alec grabs the dishes and puts them in the dishwasher without asking Martha. He helps her clean up the kitchen and takes her hand afterwards. "I don't know why you hate me? I did nothing wrong"

"I don't want to talk about it" Martha prepares her cake and tries to walk away from Alec. He is not happy about it and takes her hand again. "I want to know why you hate me and don't even look at me anymore. When you were in hospital it was nice talking to you and now you..."

"Let me go" Martha frees her hand and brings her cake to the table. Tracy and Jane clap their hands and praise Martha's cake. John wants first slice and Alec doesn't want any of it. He doesn't speak for the rest of the evening.

At midnight the three cousins leave and wish all women a good night.


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter 12 – Who is Alec?_

"This was a nice evening. John has a great and funny cousin... and Alec" Jane smiles happy and drinks her wine. It's red and fruity and makes her laugh the whole night until she will fall in her bed. Jane is funny when she drunk a bit wine and all friends laugh together.

"John is really nice and has a friendly smile. He likes to help and he has a great family... but Alec is... he is scary" Tracy drinks tea to feel comfortable before going to bed. She speaks good of John and Martha likes this.

But why her friends keep talking of Alec? Why don't they help her to forget him?

Martha takes a deep breath and tries to be brave. "About Alec... I know him. I mean... I met him... It was in London and he was the doctor who helped me with my scar"

"What?" Jane and Tracy both look at Martha who tries to speak. "Alec was nice and looked after me. We talked and it was great but then... he asked me to have dinner and I wanted to but... he told me he has a girlfriend. I felt hurt but I don't know why and now he thinks I hate him"

"Our Martha has a crush on someone. Oh my god! This is exciting. You never loved someone and you don't know how you feel about it. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Tell me more. What is it that you like about him? Is it his nose? They all have these large noses and you know what this means" Jane grins and is suddenly awake. Martha sees she is happy and excited. Jane always waited for this day and takes Martha's hand. "Tell me everything"

"I can't tell you much. I told you he was nice and charming. I didn't feel push like when you do it to make me date someone. It was nothing serious but... it was nice someone invites me. But I would never go out with someone who has a girlfriend. I felt stupid I felt different this time and dreamed like a teenage school girl" Martha doesn't want to admit her little crush on Alec but in London it was a crush. It was over now. It was over when he mentioned his girlfriend.

"I'm sorry I always push you. I don't want to make you feel bad but you are a good person and I want you to find love. And Tracy too" Jane holds Martha's hand and her friend nods. "We know this. We love you Jane. Alec is not the one for me but maybe you are right. Maybe one day I will not be alone"

"Yes, and it will be someone who loves only you. No girlfriends allowed" Jane laughs again and raises her glass. The three friends promise each other to stay together and no man will ever separate them.

Tracy starts laughing and her friends wait until she talks. "I was right about Alec. Maybe he is not scary but he is not Mister Perfect. We hate him, right?"

"Oh yes, we hate him" Jane nods and decides for all of them. Alec Track is the bad guy and this makes Martha a bit sad.


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter 13 – Mister Perfect and Mister Bad Guy_

The next day Martha makes breakfast again and all friends agree to go to the beach. Jane packs everything they need and Martha prepares lunch. Tracy goes to John and asks him for the shortest way to the beach but comes back without an answer. "John was not at home. I think he and his cousins repair the hence, right? They talked about it yesterday"

"I'm sure we find the way with a map" Martha grabs a map from the bookshelf and gives it to Tracy. She looks for a way to walk to the beach and opens the door for her friends afterwards.

"The shortest way is here" Tracy starts walking to John's house and on a small way. Jane looks around and pushs her sunglasses up her nose. "This looks like a private way. It's good Martha is John's friend and he will be okay if we use it"

"It's a free country we can walk everywhere" Martha is confused and Jane shakes her head. "No, on PBS they always have shows from England and they have private ways here. That's strange but must be an English thing"

"I'm sure John is not like that" Martha looks at Tracy who says what Martha is thinking. John is a nice man. He doesn't look like an English gentleman like the noble characters on PBS but he has a good heart. "Tracy is right. John is not like that and it would be nice if we ask him if he joins us"

"But he has to work" Jane shakes her head again and Martha understands. Jane wants to be alone with her friends today. Martha thinks the same. When they ask John they risk Alec comes with him. Her doctor is the least she wants to see right now.

"Look, they are really working on the hence" Tracy notices the three men first. They are working together but they are too far away to talk to them. Martha and Jane want to go on but Tracy stops. She waves her hand but the men don't notice her.

The ocean has a perfect blue. The wind is not too cold and children are playing on the beach. Jane tests the water temperature and Martha and Tracy prepare blanket and drinks. "It's a lovely day for a trip to the beach. I'm happy we do this"

"Yes, Jane looks happy too. I think she will swim" Tracy puts sunblocker on her arms before she gives it to her friend. "Don't you think it's too warm to work today? John and his cousins are all day on the field to repair this hence"

"You think a lot about John. Have you told Jane about it?" Martha teases Tracy and sees her friend blushing a bit. "Do I talk this much? I'm sorry"

"Why are you sorry? Do you like him?" Martha looks at her friend and understands why Jane is trying to make her friend date someone. Tracy looks happy and cute with her red cheeks. She tries to hide them and looks away but it's too late. Martha sees her friend's happiness and it makes her happy too. "He is nice"

"He is. But we don't know more about him and we won't. We go back to America and forget John and Alec too" Tracy quickly grabs a piece of apple and eats it.


	14. Chapter 14

_Chapter 14 – Jane doesn't know_

Martha had promised Tracy not to talk to Jane. It was best Jane didn't know. Their friend was easily excited but also very critical. She didn't like John much and didn't think he was attractive. Jane was one of the woman who believed love only happens to people who are attractive in the same way.

This was nonsense.

Love happens everywhere and love finds everybody. If Tracy was in love was too early to say. If she was it won't last long because the three friends won't stay for long.

Martha didn't want her friend to be heartbroken and feel lonely in a few weeks. Of course Jane and Martha would be there for Tracy with wine, chocolate cake and the most romantic comedies they could find.

Crying with best friends helped and so did laughing with them. They would make their friend happy again but now it was too early to think about this as well. Everything was too early right now.

Martha watched Tracy drinking lemonade and grab a book. Tracy loved romantic novel in middle age England. Knights and princesses made her dream. Martha loved romances too but she preferred them modern and more realistic. She didn't believe in love at first sight like Jane did.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" Martha made Tracy look up. She was confused and shook her head. "I'm not in love with John. He is nice... that's all"

"I didn't say you love him. I want to know about it in general. Do you believe in love at first sight?" Martha wasn't sure she knew Tracy's answer and had to ask. She was right with her opinion and not surprised by Tracy's answer. "I believe it sometimes happens but not often. And isn't it more a crush and later it might be love"

Martha agreed with her friend who started reading while Jane came back from the ocean. She waved her hands and ran closer to her friends. "It's great. A bit cold but I read about it online. It's no bikini weather but it's great for swimming and we won't get sick this winter"

"No, because we get sick tomorrow" Martha joked and Jane grinned. She was not angry with her friend about a little fun. Jane tried to motivate her friends to do a lot of things they didn't think about at first.

Now she needed a break first and looked to Martha. "So, what were you two talking about?"


	15. Chapter 15

_Chapter 15 – Our last week_

When the friends had their picnic and talked about what to do in the last week of their holidays. Jane wanted to go to Cornwall to buy some last souvenirs. Tracy wanted to take some nice pictures of the nature and of the three of them.

Martha only nodded to everything her friends suggested. She couldn't wait to be back home and touched her scar. It was almost gone but the memory still hurt. She still couldn't believe why she had hoped Alec would like her.

She was no teenage girl. She should have known better. His girlfriend was waiting for him in London while he helped his cousin. John was the kindest and nicest of the three cousins and Martha felt sorry for him. If she was asked to date anybody of them she'd picked John and she knew Tracy would do the same.

"Martha?" Jane waved her hand in front of Martha's face and smiled at her friend. "Martha, we want to go to the pub tonight. Do you come with us?"

"But last time..." Martha was worried for her friends who giggled a bit. Jane explained she will ask Harry and Alec to join them and after Tracy cleared her throat Jane accepted to ask John too. "He helped us once. I think it'll be safe tonight"

She shook her head. It was good to know her friends won't be alone but Martha really didn't want to risk seeing Alec. Hopefully he left today.

How long did it take to repair John's hence?

"Martha, what are you thinking about?" Jane looked worried and touched her friend's shoulder. When Martha smiled friendly Jane did the same but her older friend knew it won't satisfy her forever.

"It's getting a bit cold, don't you think?" Tracy rubbed her arms and her friends felt the cold too. They had spent three hours on the beach and packed their things to go back.

Martha looked to the hence but didn't see any cousin working on it. It made her feel better and let her relax a bit. She still had a book she wanted to finish. It was not the best she read but it was okay and would be a good company tonight. One night with book and red wine.

"At home we have to go and drink cocktails again and no way you say no" Jane walked closely to her friend and held onto her arm. This time Martha agreed and was happy to drink some lovely fruit cocktails again. "You know I love cocktails. All the beautiful colors"

"If they had cocktails at the pub. Would you come?" Tracy asked Martha and she guessed her friends wanted to try to seduce her to join them tonight. They had a good reason and made Martha laugh. "If you go tomorrow I will come with you but tonight I don't feel like pub"

"Then we have to make Harry and Alec stay. Okay, Harry will stay... I don't like Alec much and you too. No one of you talked to him and I understand you. He was an idiot and had no manners. I think he is also aggressive. Good looking men think they get away with it" Jane's words surprised her friends but they all agreed. Alec was not a gentlemen like his two cousins were.


	16. Chapter 16

_Chapter 16 – Alone with you_

Jane and Tracy left early. After they had returned home they changed their clothes and eat a little of the rest of their picnic. Then they wished Martha a good evening with her book and walked over to John's farm.

Martha was finally alone and had her book. She laid on the couch and followed the story of Jamie and Claire. The Outlander books were her favourites and it was good to read them while her friends didn't see her blush. Those explicit scenes were beautiful but also something she didn't know much about.

It had been years since she loved someone and she had never told her friends about it. Jane knew there had been someone who gave Martha her first kiss but more she never had told anybody.

Since Martha, Jane and Tracy weren't childhood friend they all had their secrets. Still they all were sure no one was hiding anything bad and they trusted each other beyond doubt.

But some secrets were too painful to tell.

A knock on the door scared Martha for a moment. She wasn't expecting her friends to be back so soon. Jane and Tracy had taken the key with them because Martha didn't want to stay awake all night.

"Who's there?" She wasn't expecting anybody but whoever was on the other side of the door didn't answered her. Martha was forced to open the door and looked at him.

She was shocked to see Alec who stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "Can we talk now?"

Martha stepped backwards without speaking to him. Her hands tried to find the wall and feel something but instead she almost fell. Tracy's shoe was on the floor but Alec saved Martha from falling. "You always hurt yourself if I don't take care"

"No, it's... it's your fault. Please go" She didn't want him to touch her and pushed him away. Martha didn't care if she got hurt again. Her feelings hurt much more.

"No, we have to talk about what happened in London. You disappeared and now you act like you don't know me... at least when your friends see us"

Alec didn't seem like he would leave anytime soon. He wanted to talk and Martha nodded before she walked back to the couch and sat down. She kept her book between them ready to hit him if he came closer.

"Why do you want to talk? Why are you not in London with your girlfriend?"


	17. Chapter 17

_Chapter 17 – What you don't know_

"Girlfriend?" Alec looked bewildered and took Martha's hand even she tried to escape his touch. Something was on his face that made her want to listen but she also thought she was going to regret it.

She never talked to anyone about it but she knew this man had broke her heart. The only man she let inside and now he might break it another time. Martha didn't want to look at him but he couldn't escape him. He stepped closer and held her hand close to his chest. His heart was beating or was it her own beating faster than ever? For a moment she was worried to faint while she listened to his words. "I have no girlfriend. I had somebody before I met you and she still had some of my stuff, but who I really wanted to get to know better are you"

"You..." Martha had to sit down and Alec stayed by her side. She felt like dreaming and started to cry. His words had touched her heart but felt unreal. Martha shook her head and was sure he said other words and she only heard what she wanted to hear. It made no sense he wanted her and in confusion she let go of his hand and pushed him away. "Don't do this to me! Do you think you can play with me like this? I'm a grown woman and not a girl who stays awake every night and dreams of you"

"Martha?" Alec looked confused which didn't change when she asked him to leave. She was sure he didn't care about her and she wouldn't care for his feelings. While he protested she took all her courage and bravery and pushed him through the door before she sank on the ground and cried even more.

How could all men be like this?

Why did they play with women hearts and tried to break them?


	18. Chapter 18

_Chapter 18 – When the dawn comes_

In the morning Tracy and Jane were up early and made breakfast for a group unseen to Martha. After a night of no sleep she was tired and her mood wasn't the best. The oldest of the three friends didn't look well without makeup and tired eyes this morning. Her scar was a fine but red line that didn't hurt any longer only the memory of what happened since that day in London.

"I want to go home. If you two want to stay more days that's okay but please take me to a near train station so I can fly back this afternoon" Martha didn't look at her friends who quickly came closer to sit with her.

"What happened? Why do you want to leave this soon?" Jane had no explanation but stroke Martha's back. Tracy didn't move and just sit still. In those moments Jane was the better friend. As much as she was ignoring them some times in moments a real friend was needed she was there for her friends and remembered them they were not alone.

"Has it something to do with the man who here last night? Alec was here wasn't he?" As much as she was a great friend Jane also ruined situations and brought tears to Martha's eyes. "He was but I never want to see him again. He is a player and he makes me feel like a foul"

"He didn't feel better either" Both Martha and Jane looked at Tracy who suddenly was quiet again while Jane signed her to be.

"What is going on?" Confused she looked at both her friends and urged them to talk whatelse had happened last night.


	19. Chapter 19

_Chapter 19 – Last night's sorrow_

Martha didn't feel well telling her friends what Alec words had been. He told her he liked her and wanted to get her know her better but she didn't trust him anymore. Alec Track was a liar to her who must have a girlfriend and was now cheating on her flirting with another woman.

"I don't want to be this other woman" She finished her cup of coffee when Jane hit the table. "Martha! I know you don't like dates but this man says he likes you. Why don't you give him a chance? What are you scared of? You don't have to fall I love and kiss him the first night, but dates are great and you're on holidays"

"You don't understand this" Martha didn't look up but jumped a bit when Jane hit the table again. "What is it that I don't understand? Is it because I have a love life? Is it because I'm happy and wish the same for you and Tracy. I know I'm more outgoing then both of you and I accepted I won't arrange secret dates for you, but this is different. Alec is here. We don't like him, but he likes you and... If it doesn't work he will simply go back to London and you never see him again"

"But..." When Tracy wanted to say something both her friends looked at her. Martha could see how nervous her friend got and touched her hand across the table. "Why don't you make Jane happy and have a date with John?"

"What? How do you all have your first dates here and I have no idea? Why didn't you EVER go out in America?" Jane was in shock and both her friends smiled a bit. Now even Martha felt a bit better but it didn't change the way she thought about Alec.

"Okay! One thing you're still doing wrong. The actual nice guy is Harry but you go for Mister Arrogance and Mister Ugly. I don't get it" Jane shook her head and left the kitchen while Martha was already lost in her thoughts again.


	20. Chapter 20

_Chapter 20 – You have a friend in me_

After Jane and Tracy convinced Martha to stay until the end of their holidays she stil didn't feel ready to leave the house. Her friends went to see the places not far from the village and Martha felt sorry for Tracy because she feared Jane to talk a lot about John in a not very charming way.

Martha on the other hand spent more time reading until she was interrupted. A loud but patient knock on the door was John's sign he brought the milk for tomorrow's breakfast. He usually left afterwards and went back to his farm but today he knocked again.

"Yes, John. I'm coming" Martha left the couch and dropped her book on a pillow before she went to open the door for one of Alec's nice cousins. John still looked nervous like the first day and had his eyes looking down on the ground while he played with shyly with a tie he was wearing. Martha noticed he was wearing a suit and looked not like a supermodel but neither like a farmer. With a new haircut and some obvious help or one of his cousins he looked a lot more than Alec and Harry which shocked Martha for one moment. "John? Is that you?"

"Harry... he helped me look a bit more like a gentleman" John still didn't look at her but she could see he was smiling. "You look good, but do you feel comfortable?"

"I... don't know"

"Come in and have a cup of tea with me" Martha let John carry in the bottle of milk and he put it on the kitchen table while she made tea. "I'm sorry I'm alone today. You look like you wanted to see someone special"

"Oh. Ehm. Yes" John sounded more shy than ever and Martha couldn't stop smiling herself. "John, if it's not too personal to ask... but do you ever had a girlfriend?"

"Yes, one... but she didn't really loved me. Alec helped me realize this. He is a good guy but his job is more important to him than love and he promised himself he wouldn't give up his job for anybody" John quickly drank some tea once Martha served it to him.

"And you? Did you ever had a boyfriend?" John finally looked up asking his question but it was impossible for Martha to answer. She felt like her throat was dry and burning at the same time. Her heart was beating faster and the world turned black in front of her eyes.

The sound of laughter was in the air, but Martha couldn't laugh. She cried and didn't stop.


	21. Chapter 21

_Chapter 21 – Tell the doctor_

John didn't know what to do. Martha was laying on the floor and she was still crying. For some reason she passed out and John didn't know how to help her. He wasn't a doctor but his cousin was. Alec was trained for situations like these and so John apologized to Martha and left her.

In shock he ran to his farm and pulled the door open. Breathless he looked from Harry to Alec who were playing cards. "You are back. Tell us, how did it go?"

"Martha! She... she collapsed" John couldn't get out of the way quickly enough and was pushed by his cousin Alec. The doctor was too fast for John to catch him but with Harry he followed his other cousin. When they arrived Alec kneeled next to Martha and picked her up from the floor to carry her on the couch in the living room.

John and Harry did nothing but watching his cousin helping Martha and were both happy when she opened her eyes again. Harry was first by her side and wanted to say something nice, but Alec pushed him away. "She needs rest. Leave her alone and if you see her friends tell them to come back in an hour but not a minute earlier. Now. GO!"

The cousins quickly nodded and closed the door behind them while Alec took a chair to sit down and sighed. "What are you doing? Why don't you take care of yourself? Do you often have these little accidents? We... I'll take you back to the nearest hospital and make sure they run more tests"

"I'm okay"

"You collapsed. It wasn't an accident. This could be something very serious" The doctor didn't let her leave the couch and neither did he leave her side.


	22. Chapter 22

_Chapter 22 – The days of my past_

Martha got no chance to get away. Her personal doctor didn't let her do anything and she felt like he was at jail. Alec was good was authority but at the same time Martha wasn't doing well dealing with it. She didn't answer any of his questions and refused to speak to him even she knew he wanted to help her since it was his job to do this.

"I don't know why you're still angry with me. Fine, you don't have to tell me and we simply go back to being doctor and patient, but you have to help me help you" Alec's voice was angry but this still didn't make her talk. Martha waited for her friends to come home and was sure Alec won't make her change her mind until then.

The only thing she wished for was her book to read a few more chapters of Jamie and Claire, and their adventures in the past, but she refused to ask Alec to give her back her Outlander book. He simply kept looking at her angry until he pushed his chair away and started to walk around. "What do I have to do that makes you understand? I want to help you Martha. What if something like this happens while you drive a car or go for a walk? You will be alone and no one is there to help you. I understood if you were in a stressed situation but you were and there were no hints of anything troubling you"

Right now he was troubling her but again Martha didn't tell him. Maybe if she kept quiet he would be so annoyed that he finally left her alone. Martha was still hoping for it when Alec pulled his chair closer again. "Okay. Was there anything you and John talked about? And if you still don't want to answer this question then know that John will tell me right away"

She sighed knowing he was speaking the truth and gave her no other chance to give in. "He asked me if I ever had a boyfriend"

"And then what? You were afraid to..." Suddenly Alex was quiet and excused himself. She heard he was in the kitchen hearing the water in the next room. Obviously he had splashed some into his face since his shirt still had drops of water on it when he returned.

The look on his face had changed but didn't look nicer this time. Martha watched him walking back to his chair before he took her hand. "Was any of your ex-boyfriends violent to you?"

His question hit her unprepared and brought back her tears. Martha wanted to wash them away but Alec grabbed her hands. "It's okay. I mean... Of course it's not okay but these things won't happen to you now"

"You have no idea what happened to me and what not! Leave me alone!" She didn't want to see him and even worse was knowing he saw her cry. Martha didn't want to feel embarrassed in front of anybody and especially not Alec Track.

"It still hurts? Did you see anyone? A therapist?" His voice sounded broken but calmed her. "Whatever you think... it didn't happen"

"Good... Because if I knew a man raped you I would make sure he has a new gender" His anger was back in his voice but this time it made her smile a bit. "I told you you're wrong. I wasn't raped and I was never hit by any men"

"But something happened and you're still not over it"

"I..." Martha was glad she heard voices outside coming quickly closer. She almost spoke about the past she never talked about and instead smiled to see her friends. "I'm sorry I worried you, but could you do me a favour and show him outside?"


	23. Chapter 23

_Chapter 23 – Time to talk_

Alec left without any questions. In the next two days Martha didn't hear from him while watching Tracy and John both getting ready for a date. The night they finally went out Jane was nervous and walked up and down all night. "What do you think are they doing? Do you think they will kiss? And what if they do... will Tracy still come back with us or will she decide to live here? Good, Alec is gone or you would both let me fly home alone"

"What do you mean he is gone?" Martha grabbed Jane's hand and made her sit down on the couch next to her. It surprised her to hear Alec could have left the village, but it seemed to be truth.

"Yes, Harry told me yesterday that Alec left immediately after looking after you. He didn't even say goodbye to his cousins. Oh, and Harry offered to take us back to the train station when we go back. Obviously he can't take us all the way to London and did you know he is married to a vicar? I was shocked. What's wrong with men in Britain? They have the most sexiest accent in the world and either look ugly or are married to women doing the most unsexiest jobs" Jane sighed but didn't pause for long. She kept complaining while Martha didn't listen anymore. She had a feeling she knew why Alec was gone and she also knew she should have been happy to hear of the news, but she wasn't.

"Jane. Jane, stop" Martha took her friends hands and was fighting her tears. "Jane, I have to tell you something. I've never told you because it was too difficult for me to tell anyone... but before I met you and we became friends... I loved somebody"

"You... Who?" Jane jumped on the couch and held her friend's hands tighter. Martha couldn't fight her tears anymore and had to cry. "I was married early and we had a little girl..."

The memories of her daughter were the most painful and the reason Martha never spoke of her life before she and Jane became friends. After her daughter died of a fever the marriage didn't work anymore and Martha was divorced.

"That's why I never go on dates. That's why I never want to love again. I couldn't deal with losing another child or even have one and see my daughter in it everyday" Martha needed a hug and Jane didn't speak. She was a good friend and understood there were no words to make Martha feel okay again.

Something of her was forever lost.

"Thank you for being my friend, Jane. I don't say it often enough" Her tears make her voice sound broken and make her think of Alec. Something had made his voice sound broken too, but now he was gone she would never know it.


	24. Chapter 24

_Chapter 24 – One happy and one sad_

Jane and Martha sat a long time together on the couch and didn't speak a word. The older friend was happy Jane was very understanding this time and didn't speak before the door opened and Tracy came back late. Her face was red and the smile on her lips had never been brighter.

"So! How was your date?" Jane pressed Martha's hand tight before letting go of it and listening to Tracy telling them of her night. Her friend had never talked this much and fast. Both Jane and Martha knew what could be the only reason for her change of behaviour and smiled happily with her.

"He was such a gentleman. He opened me doors and helped me on my chair. We drank wine and had dinner together. It was a bit expensive but Harry had told him he has to impress me, but I didn't think so and I told John" Tracy's eyes were shining with happiness while she talked about John's kindness and caring thoughts about everything that was going on. "I'm sure if he had somebody to take care of him he would have been a very clever lawyer or doctor like his cousin. It's his shyness and that many people made fun of him that he stopped reading about things that excited him. The sheeps were his best friends and when he told me this I wanted to cry"

Martha made sure Jane wasn't interrupting Tracy who sounded like she had more than friendly feelings for John. Maybe Jane was right and their friend might not come back home with them.

"And how was your night?" Tracy stopped her speech of John and looked at her friends who shared a long look before Jane actually started laughing. "We were only talking of you and John. What else should we have been doing?"

"I... I really hope you will get to like him more. Jane, I think I like John" Tracy's words made Jane so happy that she ran from the couch to her friend and hugged her tight. "You have NO idea how long I wait for this"

Martha was happy for Tracy too but she couldn't move to congratulate her. Her thoughts were with someone else and at the same time she felt guilt. Tracy was happy now but what about herself?

Was it wrong not to give Alec a second chance?

Should me maybe even have told him what really happened to her and would he even understand?


	25. Chapter 25

_Chapter 25 – What could have been_

Martha didn't feel like talking much the following days. She left the house again and went to see places and the nature with her friends. Jane and herself got closer since they talked and they both accepted John and his cousin Harry to join them everytime they had a bit of time away from the farm.

"Why are you married to a vicar?" Jane started a new conversation with Harry and walked a bit away from the rest of the group. Martha had no idea why Jane was doing this and only thought her friend might feel a bit lonely being so long away from her own love. She was sure Jane secretly couldn't wait to go home and then Martha thought about herself.

What was she going to do once she was back? Tracy would have to go through her first lovesickness and Martha would have to cuddle her, but apart from this she had no idea what to do with her life.

It was the ever same job and always the same people. In her own home was still a room she never opened because she had put all the things that reminded her of bad things happened to her in this room. This vacation would go in the room too if this was possible. Every memory of Alec Track will be put inside and she wanted to forget that he had actually made her think of a new start even it only lasted seconds.

There in the hospital in London she for once didn't feel guilty and there for once, but only for a short time, was a new chance of happiness.

"Martha!"

Tracy shouted after her and Martha only now realized she had been walking away from the group too. "I'm sorry. I was thinking"

"And what were you thinking about?" Tracy held John's hand and Martha felt like crying again. After she left London she had felt the same for some time but she didn't wanted to feel it.

Now it was growing stronger every day and she had to apologize to Tracy and John. "Have a nice day together. Jane and I forgot something"

"Oh, did we?" Jane was coming back but Martha grabbed her hand and led her away. "I feel so stupid. Tell me I'm stupid and that I'm doing a mistake. I can't be thinking clearly but I..." Martha stood still. "I miss Alec"

"I noticed" Jane grinned and in the next morning Martha felt a hand on her shoulder. She was scared it was him but she knew it couldn't be. When she turned around it was his face but it was in fact Harry smiling at her. "Jane told me you might have kept thinking of my cousin. He can be an idiot but he was actually nicer while you were in town"


	26. Chapter 26

_Chapter 26 – Alec's story_

Jane and Harry led Martha to a small bank to rest and sit on while Harry talked of his cousin. He admitted that John probably knew Alec better because John Standring didn't judge anyone. "John can sometimes be called naive but he also romantic and so very different from Alec. My cousin Alec only knows his job. His last girlfriend worked with him but because he didn't want to make their relationship public she first cheated on him and then broke up"

Martha felt sorry for the doctor but couldn't say anything. She kept listening to Harry and saw Alec in front of her eyes. "None of us knew he even had a girlfriend. Alec never talks. He actually never calls or comes around to help John on the farm. The last days were the first time in years that I really saw my cousin"

"You must have impressed him" Jane leaned on Martha's shoulder who didn't believe her friend. She hadn't said or done anything to impress Alec. It had been everything else but not this. "Whatever it was... he is gone"

"He is gone because you didn't want to see him" Harry grinned before he started laughing. "My wife would have you meet in one room and tell you to kiss to sort things out. She told me she did this before and it worked. Alice and Hugo are married for years... and they have oddly many children"

Jane shook her head and looked to Martha like she was going to attack Harry any moment. When Harry made a step backwards Martha took her best friend's hand. "It's not his fault. Please don't think about killing him"

"Maybe I won't kill him but I want to do other things" Jane's eyes turned to tiny slots staring at Harry who smiled awkwardly. "I go and see how it's going between John and Tracy"

Harry left to look for the others while the two friends sat on the bank a bit longer. In the first moments they didn't speak and Jane leaned on Martha's shoulder again. "I thought I talk to Harry and find out what Alec feels for you. You didn't tell me earlier but you have been through so much and when we go back it maybe hurts you to see us all happy"

"Tracy is happy here" Martha and Jane both didn't know what Tracy would do, but Martha had to make a decision too. "Jane... I don't want to but... I miss Alec. It's long ago I was in love and..."

"What are you waiting for?" Jane grabbed Martha's hand and pulled her with her.


	27. Chapter 27

_Chapter 27 – Final decision_

With a little help of Harry the three friends left a few days earlier than expected. Harry invited John and Tracy to Dibley to have some last days without anything to worry about while Jane and Martha spent the last days in London.

It wasn't difficult to find the hospital again but Alec wasn't at work. This was all the woman at the counter told them before they went to the address Harry had given them. Jane didn't want to let Martha go alone but she waited next to a taxi until the doctor opened the door.

"Call me when I have to pick you up" Jane took the taxi to drive back to the hotel. Somehow Martha thought her friend would take the chance to call her boyfriend while Martha had only eyes for Alec. "Could I come inside?"

"I'm not sure you want to"

"I know you are angry and upset. I understand if you don't want to talk to me but the truth is..." Martha started crying again and to her surprise Alec took her hand to led her inside his flat. He still had a cup of coffee to share with her and took another chance to prove her he was a doctor. "Did you fall again? Did you have any accidents?"

"No. I'm okay" She whipped away her tears and knew she was lying. "No. I'm not okay... I missed you"


	28. Chapter 28

_Chapter 28 – Last secrets_

It took Martha several hours to talk about her past and he always had to take breaks from it. Alec listened the whole time and didn't ask her any questions. He didn't hold her hand even she sometimes wished he would do.

Once she had told him everything she stopped crying too. This time it was Alec who whipped away her tears and kissed her afterwards. It had been years since anybody had tried to kiss her and it felt like fire on her lips. The burning feeling soon spread all over her body, but she stopped him. "I... It's so long ago and I don't want to do anything I regret tomorrow"

"I wouldn't do anything you regret tomorrow. Martha, I never flirt with patients. There was something different about you and now you trust me. I won't do anything to make you lose your trust in me again" Alec kissed her again and she accepted she liked this feeling. It also felt good Alec didn't try to do more and instead sat next to her and held her hand.

"Can I ask you something too?"

He nodded and listened to her question. Martha wanted to know how long ago Alec's breakup was. Did he still miss his girlfriend and was there a chance he wanted her back?

"No, that's all over. When I found out about her and another friend then... it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I didn't love her enough, but... I don't want that you go. I want to take care of you and be the man you trust" Alec didn't speak of love but suddenly she felt very safe near him. Martha leaned her head against his shoulder. She could smell his aftershave and smiled. "I don't want to be a patient forever"

"Until we know why you faint I won't let you have any other choice. I'm worried for you and you should listen to your doctor" Both of them started laughing but their laughter died after some time. They both knew Martha had to go back and Alec held her hand tighter. "Promise me you see a doctor back at home. I really want you to..."

"No"

"What?" Alec looked at her and Martha could see his eyes were showing his anger but it was gone as quickly as it came. "Alec... I have been alone for so long and you are the first man I have feelings for. If I go now... This is my second chance and I don't want to give up so soon. I believed I cannot trust anyone and if I go I will think this again..."

"You stay?" The first time she knew him it was his eyes that filled with tears even he didn't want her to see and turned away. His voice was broken again and this way she knew he cared.

"Yes. I will stay"

 _The End._


End file.
